The Clones Return to Harvard Square

Current mood: I Hate Clones, GO AWAY!!!

Two days ago I walked from the Pit in Harvard Square to the Harvard Book Store three blocks away. Walking to the book store, I encountered the usual summer weirdos, the kind I love--drunken poets talking in rhyme, ex-military types stoned out of their minds, the street booksellers with the dog and cat fairly comfy in a rear bike tote, Asian girls looking for grungy Reggae musicians to spice up their lives, and then the usual assorted sundry of tourists, locals and students. But the weirdos were, thankfully, clearly present, and not outnumbered by the dullards.

It took maybe 15 minutes in the bookstore to find the book I wanted (a breezy summer mystery with a female protagonist, perfect for the beach). I paid for the book (only $4 from the used book section in the basement) and walked out the door. I headed back toward the Pit.

I suddenly felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Had I been abducted by extraterrestrials? Or was I experiencing some kind of Cambridge flashback? In the space of a short 15 minutes, it seemed that the CLONES had landed, en masse. As I forced one foot in front of the other, wave after nauseating wave of CLONE people streamed past me, where only a handful had been just minutes earlier. Denizens of the Village of the Damned, all blank stares and stiff movements, inhabiting the sidewalks, cafes and streets, overwhelming all the weirdo summer energy with empty repressed rage, bringing all life to absolute zero. WTF???

The Clones are the soulless occupiers of space, lacking personality or joy or sharp edges, having been smoothed to smithereens by a forced education, adherence to the party line, bland vacations to theme parks, too many video games, too much Fox News, too many nannies, too much CONTROL, no crazy spontaneity, no LOVE.

Suddenly the Square was overrun with these nightmarish figures. A very perceptive person I know once said, "The strange thing about Harvard Square area is that you can see that the people are physically there, but they SEEM completely absent." She was right on. And it is totally creepy. Makes you want to shake someone, "Hey YOU!!! Are you home in there? Where ARE YOU??? WAKE UP!!!"

But I'm pretty sure if I ever tried that, the clone would think I was nuts, on drugs, or worse. Clones don't understand beings outside their own limited sphere, and even WITHIN their sphere, they haven't a clue. But they don't care.

These clones are cold, cruel, rude, self-centered, dull, privileged, mostly very very wealthy, the children of the corporate elite. I have actually seen these clones step over an old man passed out on the sidewalk without bothering to check if he was dead or alive. I have seen these clones chastise a homeless person "Get a job, you lazy bum!" I have seen the mother of one of these clones, herself a senior clone, laugh at the Asian man who plays his special violin in the square, laugh because he is different, seems a bit strange, someone not totally cloned, and so, a total threat to her world view.

Go AWAY clones!!! You are messing up my life and our world, and I DON'T like it!!! Go live in the jungle for awhile, or get your heart broken in a sordid affair, or live with a dozen cats and hoard lightbulb boxes, give all your money to charity and sail around the world, go to Iraq and visit a family with a child missing limbs blown off by Dick Cheney and his friends in their search for MORE oil for the company YOU invest in, ANYTHING to get your REAL self BACK into your body. It's got to be there SOMEWHERE. Maybe then you will find your heart, and get off this insane greed and power treadmill you run on every day of your sad horrible life--the deadly treadmill that is turning you into a life-sucking vampire clone.

Yes I am that optimistic. Or foolish. I have hope, against all odds, and despite many tears shed, that even insanely wealthy vampire clones can come back to life. And heal. And begin to help HEAL this earth. Yep. I believe in magic.

Finally, The Truth

OK, Everybody, I'm finally going to tell you the Truth!

Rich people are nice. Poor people are lazy. If you don't have health care you just plain don't deserve it. War is necessary to defend our fine democracy, even when the so-called "war" involves invading and occupying sovereign countries and stealing their oil.

If a musician is promoted by the music industry, he or she is a genius and you should adore this person, even though your gut instinct is telling you the music really SUCKS. Do NOT listen to your gut instinct. It is usually wrong. Whatever Madison Ave, TV ads, Campaign promos, the government or anyone else selling ANYTHING says is RIGHT. Do NOT, I repeat, do NOT listen to your gut instinct, your inner wisdom or anything else. If you do, you will always be wrong.

A woman cannot be trusted. She is prone to lying and deceit. So if a man, whether he is a famous athlete or a bum on the street, says the sex was consensual, it WAS. Rape is only a fabrication in the minds of some loose women. It happens very very rarely--and then, only in cases when some neutral male witness can corroborate the story of the weak-minded woman.

If you are homeless, it is your own fault. You should have known better than to listen to your banker or mortgage broker. I don't care how earnest they appeared to be or how many stats they pushed at you, YOU should have KNOWN they were lying!

Bail-outs to rich guys, i.e. bankers, wall-street dudes and CEOS, does NOT amount to welfare for the rich, no matter how often you hear these lies from pinko leftists. Tax breaks for these guys also is NOT welfare. They DESERVE these millions! These guys work hard for their money, harder than any janitor working 2 jobs to support her family will EVER work! Even when you see a CEO on vacay in the Bahamas, believe me they are ALWAYS working.

And NO, they are NOT exploiting the poor. If you are poor, it's your own fault, bad karma. Had you had better karma, you would have been born into a wealthy family, gone to the best schools, graduated from Harvard and be running your own company by now. The fact that none of that happened for you MUST mean you were a REAL a-hole in a previous life. So shut up about it!

Let's face it. Males are just generally smarter than women. Didn't Larry Summers, the ex-prez of Harvard make some such statement regarding science and women? Doesn't he work for Obama now? So if he said it, it must be true! And even if he didn't...come on! Why would men talk SO much and SO loudly while so many women sit there and demurely take in all these words if the words weren't truly AMAZING, fascinating and just generally AWESOME, dude?

And as far as global warming or climate change goes, it just doesn't exist. So WHAT if a few glaciers are melting? There are plenty more where those came from. So WHAT if the weather seems to have gotten extremely intense and unpredictable and bizarre these last few years? Blame it on El Nino. Nobody really knows what El Nino is, anyway.

That's my truth-telling for today. More to come.

Something to Bore the Surveillers

Sitting in Starbucks (ostensibly "working", i.e. writing, but quite honestly just goofing off a whole lot of the time) I am sometimes forced to listen to music when really maybe I would rather just hear the ambient sounds of Harvard denizens ordering coffee in their "I'm richer than you, peasant!" voices. I would love to have a T-Shirt line that just has messages like: "I paid $50 for this T Shirt, so obviously I am a member of the Corporate Elite, and You are NOT!".

Back to my point: being forced to listen to music not of my choosing has caused me to realize that there is some music I really despise, or at least intensely dislike, even though I somehow feel I "should" like it. Well, I just don't. It's shocking.

One person is Paul Simon. Honestly, his whining just really hurts my stomach. And whatever happened to Edie Brickell once she married him? Why did her talent just seem to disappear off the face of the earth?

Another is KD LANG (caps intentional). I really do NOT enjoy the timbre of her voice. There is something just so self-consciously full of herself in every ooh and aahhh. Even the way she spells her name strikes me as pretentious. Who does she think she is? e. e. cummings?

Another is Kate McGarrigle's son Rufus Wainwright. First of all, I have seen him interact with his Mom onstage, and he comes off as a real little bitch. Kate should just get out from behind her keyboards and slap him upside the head. Seriously. Second, no Rufus, you do not sing "Hallelujah" better than Leonard Cohen. Yes, I know he's from Canada. And so is k.d. I should support them. But in Rufus's case the nepotism really annoys me. I'm not so sure he deserves the special spot he has gotten in the music industry. Without Mom and Dad I am not so sure he would have gotten there.

Not to be anti-Canadian, let me also say that I really don't like Mariah Carey. At all (although I DO like her shenanigans and diva attitude). Her super-soprano riffs just don't impress me. The biggest problem is that I feel NOTHING when I hear her sing. On top of that, most of her songs are non-melodic and really dull. Come on! With all that money, couldn't she has least get a few good songwriters in her corner?

And, to be fair and not biased against women, I'm not that fond of Sting either. OK yes, I do like the song "Every Breath You Take" even if it strikes me as a super stalker song, and reminds me of one of my hopeless lovers, Herve from Montreal. Besides that, Sting is another person who just doesn't do much for me, even though he seems quite convinced of his own genius (and yes, I do appreciate some of the charity work he's done, but...).

[As a side note, I have remarked in my life that males seem much more easily convinced of their own genius even when this is so far from reality as to be a fairy tale. On the other hand, some really amazingly talented, smart women (like me!) might take a lot of convincing that they ARE very smart, talented women. Something to do with behavioral therapy imposed by society, teachers, the media etc. starting pretty much from birth.]

For me to love a musician, I need to feel touched by them somehow. Aretha Franklin made me cry when I saw her in person. George Thorogood made me feel like a motorcyle mama, hot blood coursing through my veins. Ella Fitzgerland made me fell blessed and cleansed to the core of my soul. Bruce Cockburn has stirred up a lot of rage in me at the cruelty that exists in this world. Al Green has reminded me what it feels like to be madly in love when I felt furthest removed from that wild sensation.

We need artists in this world, desperately, despite the attempt by scientists, war-mongers and pedlars of trivial crap to convince us otherwise. Let's support the REAL artists, and stop being afraid to call out the emperor or empress when in fact they are stark naked in their superficiality and sense of self-importance.

Just sayin'....