Something to Bore the Surveillers

Sitting in Starbucks (ostensibly "working", i.e. writing, but quite honestly just goofing off a whole lot of the time) I am sometimes forced to listen to music when really maybe I would rather just hear the ambient sounds of Harvard denizens ordering coffee in their "I'm richer than you, peasant!" voices. I would love to have a T-Shirt line that just has messages like: "I paid $50 for this T Shirt, so obviously I am a member of the Corporate Elite, and You are NOT!".

Back to my point: being forced to listen to music not of my choosing has caused me to realize that there is some music I really despise, or at least intensely dislike, even though I somehow feel I "should" like it. Well, I just don't. It's shocking.

One person is Paul Simon. Honestly, his whining just really hurts my stomach. And whatever happened to Edie Brickell once she married him? Why did her talent just seem to disappear off the face of the earth?

Another is KD LANG (caps intentional). I really do NOT enjoy the timbre of her voice. There is something just so self-consciously full of herself in every ooh and aahhh. Even the way she spells her name strikes me as pretentious. Who does she think she is? e. e. cummings?

Another is Kate McGarrigle's son Rufus Wainwright. First of all, I have seen him interact with his Mom onstage, and he comes off as a real little bitch. Kate should just get out from behind her keyboards and slap him upside the head. Seriously. Second, no Rufus, you do not sing "Hallelujah" better than Leonard Cohen. Yes, I know he's from Canada. And so is k.d. I should support them. But in Rufus's case the nepotism really annoys me. I'm not so sure he deserves the special spot he has gotten in the music industry. Without Mom and Dad I am not so sure he would have gotten there.

Not to be anti-Canadian, let me also say that I really don't like Mariah Carey. At all (although I DO like her shenanigans and diva attitude). Her super-soprano riffs just don't impress me. The biggest problem is that I feel NOTHING when I hear her sing. On top of that, most of her songs are non-melodic and really dull. Come on! With all that money, couldn't she has least get a few good songwriters in her corner?

And, to be fair and not biased against women, I'm not that fond of Sting either. OK yes, I do like the song "Every Breath You Take" even if it strikes me as a super stalker song, and reminds me of one of my hopeless lovers, Herve from Montreal. Besides that, Sting is another person who just doesn't do much for me, even though he seems quite convinced of his own genius (and yes, I do appreciate some of the charity work he's done, but...).

[As a side note, I have remarked in my life that males seem much more easily convinced of their own genius even when this is so far from reality as to be a fairy tale. On the other hand, some really amazingly talented, smart women (like me!) might take a lot of convincing that they ARE very smart, talented women. Something to do with behavioral therapy imposed by society, teachers, the media etc. starting pretty much from birth.]

For me to love a musician, I need to feel touched by them somehow. Aretha Franklin made me cry when I saw her in person. George Thorogood made me feel like a motorcyle mama, hot blood coursing through my veins. Ella Fitzgerland made me fell blessed and cleansed to the core of my soul. Bruce Cockburn has stirred up a lot of rage in me at the cruelty that exists in this world. Al Green has reminded me what it feels like to be madly in love when I felt furthest removed from that wild sensation.

We need artists in this world, desperately, despite the attempt by scientists, war-mongers and pedlars of trivial crap to convince us otherwise. Let's support the REAL artists, and stop being afraid to call out the emperor or empress when in fact they are stark naked in their superficiality and sense of self-importance.

Just sayin'....