The Clones Return to Harvard Square

Current mood: I Hate Clones, GO AWAY!!!

Two days ago I walked from the Pit in Harvard Square to the Harvard Book Store three blocks away. Walking to the book store, I encountered the usual summer weirdos, the kind I love--drunken poets talking in rhyme, ex-military types stoned out of their minds, the street booksellers with the dog and cat fairly comfy in a rear bike tote, Asian girls looking for grungy Reggae musicians to spice up their lives, and then the usual assorted sundry of tourists, locals and students. But the weirdos were, thankfully, clearly present, and not outnumbered by the dullards.

It took maybe 15 minutes in the bookstore to find the book I wanted (a breezy summer mystery with a female protagonist, perfect for the beach). I paid for the book (only $4 from the used book section in the basement) and walked out the door. I headed back toward the Pit.

I suddenly felt like I was in the Twilight Zone. Had I been abducted by extraterrestrials? Or was I experiencing some kind of Cambridge flashback? In the space of a short 15 minutes, it seemed that the CLONES had landed, en masse. As I forced one foot in front of the other, wave after nauseating wave of CLONE people streamed past me, where only a handful had been just minutes earlier. Denizens of the Village of the Damned, all blank stares and stiff movements, inhabiting the sidewalks, cafes and streets, overwhelming all the weirdo summer energy with empty repressed rage, bringing all life to absolute zero. WTF???

The Clones are the soulless occupiers of space, lacking personality or joy or sharp edges, having been smoothed to smithereens by a forced education, adherence to the party line, bland vacations to theme parks, too many video games, too much Fox News, too many nannies, too much CONTROL, no crazy spontaneity, no LOVE.

Suddenly the Square was overrun with these nightmarish figures. A very perceptive person I know once said, "The strange thing about Harvard Square area is that you can see that the people are physically there, but they SEEM completely absent." She was right on. And it is totally creepy. Makes you want to shake someone, "Hey YOU!!! Are you home in there? Where ARE YOU??? WAKE UP!!!"

But I'm pretty sure if I ever tried that, the clone would think I was nuts, on drugs, or worse. Clones don't understand beings outside their own limited sphere, and even WITHIN their sphere, they haven't a clue. But they don't care.

These clones are cold, cruel, rude, self-centered, dull, privileged, mostly very very wealthy, the children of the corporate elite. I have actually seen these clones step over an old man passed out on the sidewalk without bothering to check if he was dead or alive. I have seen these clones chastise a homeless person "Get a job, you lazy bum!" I have seen the mother of one of these clones, herself a senior clone, laugh at the Asian man who plays his special violin in the square, laugh because he is different, seems a bit strange, someone not totally cloned, and so, a total threat to her world view.

Go AWAY clones!!! You are messing up my life and our world, and I DON'T like it!!! Go live in the jungle for awhile, or get your heart broken in a sordid affair, or live with a dozen cats and hoard lightbulb boxes, give all your money to charity and sail around the world, go to Iraq and visit a family with a child missing limbs blown off by Dick Cheney and his friends in their search for MORE oil for the company YOU invest in, ANYTHING to get your REAL self BACK into your body. It's got to be there SOMEWHERE. Maybe then you will find your heart, and get off this insane greed and power treadmill you run on every day of your sad horrible life--the deadly treadmill that is turning you into a life-sucking vampire clone.

Yes I am that optimistic. Or foolish. I have hope, against all odds, and despite many tears shed, that even insanely wealthy vampire clones can come back to life. And heal. And begin to help HEAL this earth. Yep. I believe in magic.

Cambridge Clones, Ghosts and Marching Bands

OK, So I have tried, I really have, to be more open-minded about the clones who populate Cambridge, MA. I have gone out dancing at Cantab on Thursday night. As long as I focus on the Chicken Slacks (the Thursday band) and my dancing, I'm fine. But the minute a blond Cambridge clone hits me in the head with her elbow and I'm therefore forced to look around to let her know she might want to NOT do that again, to avoid a bar brawl with me, I am dismayed to find that yes of course, the bar is filled with Cambridge clones. It's like some kind of "Village of the Damned" nightmare, vacant eyes and empty gestures with a great soundtrack.

Today I went to Oktoberfest in Harvard Square. Also Honkfest, plenty of small marching bands playing some funky tunes. Pretty good musicians, and WOMEN playing trombone and drums. YAY! But.......somehow even the Allston hipsters strike me as clones, in their own hipster way. Cool funky clothes but no vibe, no feeling, no depth, nothing there.

Someone told me once that the strange thing about people in Boston (which includes Allston and Cambridge) is that, although one can see they are PHYSICALLY occupying space, they actually don't seem to BE HERE at all. So I guess the problem is I am trying to relate to ghosts.

But wait a minute. I do NOT mean to insult ghosts. I lived with one for 15 years in Montreal. He was a sad thin twenty-something man, dressed in WWI army fatigues. When I first saw him, I thought maybe the shrooms from my teenage years were kicking up some dust in my brain, so I didn't mention it to anyone. But then a roommate, somewhat irate, demanded to know why I had not informed her there was a ghost living in my flat. When she described him, yes, it was the same man. And guess what? My ghost friend had MORE depth, more vibe, more gravitas, more LIFE than most of the Cambridge clones. Wow. How weird is that.

Maybe I need to move to Mexico. The people down there have light in their eyes and magic is in the air. Oh, but the police are horrible...that's another story. For now I'm just thinking of a long trip on a train (I love trains, traveling on them, meeting people, watching the countryside roll past) to unknown parts. Even NYC. Just desperately need to feast my eyes on a few REAL people, talk to some really smart NYC cab driver about how the economy is going to totally tank in a few years (this really happened in 2005). And try to erase the image of the sad, empty-eyed Cambridge clones from my brain. Vampire energy suckers, that's what they are. And I am really sick and tired of having my energy drained by these vampire clones. Maybe I WILL start wearing a garlic necklace to protect myself. Or, just move the hell out of Cambridge. SOON!