Ben Affleck and the Brighton Electric Gigolo Van

So this is the second day I have seen Ben Affleck hanging out in Harvard Square. OK, he’s not just hanging out, he’s acting in and directing a film. Fortunately, it’s right next to my usual hang-out, the outdoor Au Bon Pain patio. So I can sit here and write, read, drink tea, while simultaneously watching Ben and his team prepare for a shot that will take two hours to set up, 7 minutes to film, and end up as a 30 second blip in his film, “The Town”.

One positive off-shoot of this film crew’s presence is that the normally cloned appearance of a Cambridge denizen seems to miraculously transform the minute the person catches sight of the lights and cameras. First, a quick hand to the hair to fix the locks. Then the face settles into character. I have noted quite a range: quirky character actor, romantic lead, Allston indy-type, intellectual snob, corporate criminal, homeless drunk or druggy, off-the-meds crazed schizo, studious but handsome nerd (male or female), worried mother, sad father, and on and on. Or maybe, these people are here all the time and they only look unique because I am seeing them through film-crew-colored glasses?

Now I notice a few people who look like versions of various movie stars. Here is a guy who looks a lot like Scottish actor Ewan McGregor. Now another guy, a shorter skinnier version of Denzel Washington. Oh, and there’s that woman who plays Sami on “Days of Our Lives”, my new favorite unemployed pastime. Just love it!

Did you know Sami is trying to HELP Nicole keep her adopted baby Sydney, who is actually Sami’s baby, although Sami thinks she buried her own baby Grace awhile ago (but Grace was really teenage Mia’s baby, switched by Nicole), and meanwhile Nicole is actually a former porn star who is married to EJ, who thinks baby Sydney is no relation to him, but in fact EJ IS the father, and EJ is the son of Stefano Dimero, one of Salem’s Mafioso-type patriarchs who lies on his possible death bed, knowing the truth but in a coma, so how can he help? And all that after watching this soap for only ONE week!

Man, THAT is my ideal job! A writer for a soap opera. They must have so much fun thinking up this stuff!!!

So now a cop makes us all move away from the Au Bon Pain wall so we won’t be in the shot. Like HOW am I going to be in the shot? This looks like a medium close up again. Anyway. They should be so lucky as to have me in their movie, and for free! I know I will bring luck. I usually do.

I have to admit I am getting a little tired of hearing that name...Ben Affleck Ben Affleck Ben Affleck. I never minded it before but it is starting to drive me NUTS. Sorry, Ben!

Yesterday a woman watching the scene with me noted that the PA’s (the grunts) didn’t seem to be “very talented”. Just as she made this comment, and I laughed, a young guy driving what looked like an adult-size open playpen with a motor almost ran into one of the bigger wigs on the set, an intense, slightly chubby curly-haired guy who keeps telling people not to take photos with their flashes on.

Most of the people wandering around this set are men, with a few women. I’d say 90% male, come on BEN! Give the girls a break! Hire more WOMEN!!!.

Now they are filming inside the maroon red robbery van which reads “Brighton Electric” and in smaller letters underneath, “Fast • Reliable • Professional” and then “Serving Greater Boston”. I am thinking this would be a perfect van for a gigolo from Brighton, not that I know anyone who would fit the bill. With a shag rug, a psychedelic poster and a disco mirror ball on the interior, the Brighton Electric Gigolo Service could function like a Bookmobile!!! But without books, maybe a few magazines, and of course specialized services...

OK so I see that Ben’s scarlet red Boston Red Sox toque has moved down the street. See what I mean, after all that time setting up, it took all of 7 minutes to film the shot. A lot like sex with a difficult man. And sometimes, after all that work, the 7 minute shot is just completely edited out, as though it never happened! And maybe it never did! Again, a lot like sex with a difficult man.

Ben was looking at me at one point (not that I think Ben is difficult, but then again...). Yes, Ben, I probably am one of the few truly interesting people you might meet here in Cambridge. But I have a headache, for real. Maybe next film.